Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
