is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
