dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
