He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Randomize
