Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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