Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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