I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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