We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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