she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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