i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
