I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
