this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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