She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
