He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
