I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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