I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
