Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
