I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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