Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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