Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
