I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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