..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I died a long time ago.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
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