we have officially lost it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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