I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
