I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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