I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
