I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
