Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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