We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
