It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
