she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
