PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize