She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
