jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
