wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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