Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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