you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
