I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
