I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
