Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
