Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
