Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
