I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize