This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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