Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
