i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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