I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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