She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize