So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
