You're my little dorito
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
