I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
