And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
