We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
