you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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