Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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