Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
