In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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