I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
