I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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