Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
