I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
