so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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