If that was your dad, he is hot
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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