it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
