conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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