Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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