right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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