i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
