I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
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