What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
