I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize