Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
