Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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