Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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