I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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