Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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