My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
